Well, you found it. The doorway to my heart. Inside is a rich dark well that's just pouring out with a full range of emotion, the rambling of processed/processing feelings (fears and desires, woes and glows). And as I write this #verbalvombomb #trumbombs #verbalorgasm, and settle into my unfiltered raw truth, I can feel my body spasming involuntarily..so I slowly breathe inhale and exhale and tune into this movement.. how this is going to be...how I am going to be...and what types of connections will be made, with what types of people, people from all over the world, inside and outside my preferences, while we explore and expand this concept of what intimacy is together...
YIKES. Do you feel that? My heart just skipped a beat.
Hello! My name is Tiffany. I guess you could say I was/am about as cynical as they come about modern love and romance. I'm also looking to change this. I'm experientially testing myself what it would be like to lean in and surrender to love as I know it. I feel like its a common human condition to want to know and trust love deeply. Everyone comes in with different experiences/backgrounds/thresholds of "what love is" at all parts of the spectrum and I'm figuring out as I travel the world, what the common connecting force is to modern day love and intimacy.
I believe it starts with a relationship with the body and also a conscious conversation and sharing of the dialogue between the overthinking mind and the vulnerable heart. Also to be more frank, listening to the wisdom of your genitals. All parts of you need to be loved and heard. Self love has to occur before you can love another.
It is my journey to embody all parts to me, to integrate my values of who I truly am and come out fully seen in that space. And to trust and surrender to the idea that others can do the same. And that we can have union.
How does it feel to explore all of our human sensations in a shared safe space with another human being?
What would it be like to experientially dissect intimacy at face value?
If we gave our minds, bodies, hearts, genitals voices, what would they really say?
Ultimately, I want to live in a conscious world where we can all reveal who we are, unmasked.
To love all of our parts and to live life raw, hearts open.
I am hopeful. I want to create that world.
So enough talk...Let's play!
BEDTalks are conscious sensory experiences between two people that include an intention and end with a frame.
I will be posting a series of interviews and personal short stories as I unravel my patterns and conditioning, hoping that all of love's woes and dilemmas are universal, as I engage with acquaintances, friends, old lovers, new lovers in a conscious setting. It's my exploration of love in all conditions and without preferences.
If you feel inspired to create a BEDTalk of your own, please do so and send me a message!
If you want inspiration, follow the blog, BEDTalks.
HOW DO YOU CREATE A BEDTALK?
1. Pick a partner you want to explore and expand intimacy with. Ask them "Would you like to do a BEDtalk?"
2. Both of you agree of a container you can use to explore a shared sensory experience. (Sight, sound, touch, speech, taste.)
3. Choose how long you want to then x period of time.
4. At the end of the container, share a frame- a moment in time where you felt something in your body, usually the moment with the highest sensation and share it with your partner. Feel free to share what you feel in your body and what you are thinking in your mind. Take turns.
5. Finally, take turns and share with the following questions
Have you expanded in intimacy with me?
How do you feel you've changed or we've changed?
What do you think intimacy is?
Ex: Eye Gazing for 2 minutes.
"At the first 30 seconds, I noticed I had a hard time breathing. I felt a tingling electric shock feel in my ears and hot waves of heat in my cheeks When I felt it, I was thinking "wow, my mouth is super dry...I wonder if it's okay that I lick it...fuck, why am I super self conscious." And when I dropped into the experience, concentrated less on me and saw the depth and gentleness of your eyes, I felt my shoulders sinking and I felt like I could finally see and feel you for the first time...You felt smooth, grounded, open, and sure of yourself and I felt more reassured and calm and gradually I felt my breath slow down too."
WHY do this?
We all crave connection.
It is a human condition for us to want to feel understood. And if and when we choose to open up our hearts, we want someone to listen and hold space for what we have to say.
How can we feel safe to open?
Fear of exposure and vulnerability is a modern day phenomenon.
It is also terrifying to reveal all parts of ourselves, especially the ones we keep in the dark. Especially those voices and insecurities we aren't proud of or even conscious of! What if we get hurt? What if we hurt someone?
How can we disarmor and show up exactly as we are?
"I'm unloveable" or "I am too much" are mind obstacles that prevent us from growth.
When we keep ourselves at a certain level of receiving, we only draw that much into our life. We draw in people who give as much as we think we deserve (not much). This reaffirms our sense of identity, so we can only grow so much.
How can we set the conditions to receive as much as we desire?
We believe we are only loveable if we project the right image, so image maintenance must be kept up at all costs
The cost of living a lie of our own projections is our own awakening and sense of deeper and more authentic connection with other people who may be going through the same thing.
How can we fuse our identity with someone else’s without the fear that we're going to lose ourselves?
Would you be interested in doing a BEDTalk of your own?
Share your experiences below!
What does Intimacy Mean to you?
What does it take to be Vulnerable?
How do you stay Connected?
Lean in. Stay courageous
Open to new possibilities.
What can you commit to?