The Body Knows and the Mind Can Tell
The desire is already planted. We both feel the electricity, the call and the response, the buzzing electricity. Something is going to happen eventually. Before anything gets physical, I tune into my body and check to see if I'm actually ready.
This is something I've been doing for a few months now. I propose this for new partners I want to explore intimacy with.
When I find myself at a point where body and mind aren't in alignment and I want to slow down and stay conscious, I propose the following
2 minutes of eye gazing
2 minutes of withholds each way
2 minutes of desire pulling each way
This is my formula for deeper connection that goes beyond just general physicality. It eases my vigilance center and allows me to sink in with what's real and to have a more accurate understanding of our collective third, to feel the entity between you and me, the chemistry, the visceral feeling, to call into sensation the build up of sexual anticipation and tension.
It intensifies, amplifies, and vivifies the experience of what's to come.
Ready for this?
Eyes are windows to the soul. Maintain eye contact and avoid dissipating from high sensation.
Truth-telling. You drop your game. Start by saying "What are you withholding from me?" And your partner says all of the admissions, all of the insecurities, judgements, expectations, hopes, moments of connection where feelings were intensified and their role and account of it.
Ex: I feel you giving me a lot of attention and I don't trust myself with you. I like you and I want to take things slow. I've been attracted to you since I first saw you.
You admit what your desires are in relation to your partner. What you want to do. Be specific.
Ex: I want to spend 10 minutes exploring your body. I want to receive a 5 minute massage. Clothes on makeout.
Usually person who starts with Withholds goes last in Desires.
MID JUNE. 3 AM @ TAIPEI
We are in bed sitting cross-legged. 2 head distances apart. Eye to eye. I turn the timer on.
I feel my cheeks flush. I'm self conscious of how I look and get over it after 15 seconds and drop into the experience. I feel my shoulders drop. My whole body and face softening in recognition. Her almond eyes are gentle and inviting. "it's okay to be seen here." I give myself permission to disarmor and let my guards down and my love and desire fully out.
I'm feeling electricity from my head slowly trickle down to my pussy. Our hands are already touching and I faintly remember this is outside the container but I secretly don't mind it. I can feel the lust of the night "the I want to rip your clothes off" and then "I want to treat you right" gaze. It's the perfect combination and by the time the timer goes off, we shyly look away for a quick second to recollect ourselves.
She says "Wow."
I'm like "Yeah..."
The night ended well from there.